she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
