I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
