An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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