I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
