OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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