Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
