Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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