I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
