ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
