it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
