This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
