So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
