i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
