I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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