i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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