I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
