Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
