Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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