nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
