So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
