I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
