I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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