Slut skills are useful in every country.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
