I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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