Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
