and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
