Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
