who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
