are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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