A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
More tranny stories later!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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