i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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