It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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