I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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