Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
