plz talk dirty to me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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