I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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