apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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