I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
