You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
