Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
