Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
