new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
