So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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