did you get engaged???
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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