heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My vagina just recognized that song.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
