you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
