If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
