I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
