if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
