My hand turned me down
tell your sister to shave her snatch
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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